Dichotomy
by StarryNight
Summary: Harry wants Severus Snape. Draco tries to help. Will it all come tumbling down?
1. 1

Dichotomy  
By: Liz  
Disclaimers: These characters do not belong to me. I am using them for fun, not profit. If you sue me, all you'll get are my many college loans.  
Rating:  
Pairing: Harry/Snape. And thank you, Tea, for having pushed me onto this path :-p  
Author's Notes: This story is for Tea, as it was she who broke down my final resistance to the Harry Potter books. Congratulations, Tea-you did something that my ex couldn't do while we were together :) If it weren't for her, then I wouldn't have gotten this idea.  
Archiving: Anywhere, just let me know where it's going, and keep my name and disclaimers attached, please.  
Feedback is always appreciated. Flames will be laughed at, then passed around to my friends so they can mock them, too.  
  
**********  
  
He didn't know when it started. All he knew was that one day he was smiling and laughing...and the next it seemed impossible to keep going.  
  
Harry sighed as he gave in to a moment of weakness and leaned against the cold stone of the corridor. More and more lately, he felt these feelings of despair wash over him. More and more he felt that life was more of a burden than a joy.  
  
Suppressing the urge to scream, Harry reached up and traced his scar with his index finger. The lightning-bolt brand that marked him as something special, apart from everyone else.  
  
All Harry wanted to do was tear the blasted thing from his face.  
  
He was so damn *tired* of it-tired of people treating him with awe, worshiping him as 'the Boy Who Lived.' Didn't anyone realize that he was as mortal as any of them?  
  
Forcing himself to move on, Harry stared at the floor. Well, one person-outside his Muggle 'family'-saw his flaws, his humanity. Harry had to fore back an ironic laugh. The one person in Hogwarts who saw him as a simple flawed human was also the one who despised him the most. Severus Snape.  
  
And Harry loved him for it.  
  
This time, Harry couldn't keep back the sudden laugh that burst past his lips, bitter though it was. Just his luck, wasn't it-to fall for the one person that would probably never want him.  
  
Luck might keep his body alive, but it did nothing to protect his heart.  
  
Harry found a deserted bit of corridor-not too hard in a keep as big as Hogwarts-and sat down. "What do I have?" he asked himself bitterly. "Let's see...I have pride, I have a face that no one ever tries to see, I have memories I'd give anything to be rid of, *and* I have a heart that will never be broken, for the simple fact that I can never tell the one I love that I love them." Another bitter laugh left him. "I should throw myself off a bloody cliff right now before I can think of anything *else* to add to the list."  
  
"Then why don't you?" A cold, icy voice penetrated Harry's mind, and he looked up to see the *last* person he could've hoped for standing there.  
  
"Go away, Draco," Harry murmured, not even trying to fill the words with his usual rancor. "I'm not in the mood for your games."  
  
Draco blinked. Even when Harry was at his *worst*, he never lacked the bitter sarcasm that Draco had come to expect from him. To hear such empty words.... "Potter?" he inquired, the name filled with confusion and a bit of concern.  
  
Harry rolled his eyes. "In case you didn't get it, I'm not in the mood for our usual fun and games. So if you don't mind...." Harry waved a hand, gesturing down the corridor, allowing the gesture to finish his sentence.  
  
"Would you really jump off a cliff?" Draco blinked-he even hadn't expected those words to come from his mouth.  
  
Harry's eyes reflected some shock as well, but it didn't stop him from answering the question. "Probably not, since cliffs are few around here."  
  
"But if you could find a cliff?"  
  
For the first time, Harry's eyes met Draco's, and Draco shivered at the emptiness he saw there. "Why do you care?" he asked tonelessly.  
  
Draco sat down next to Harry, putting aside all reactions he had ever cultivated around Harry. "Because believe it or not, I *do* care about what happens to you. Even if we're not as close as you and Ron, or Hermione, I still respect you."  
  
Harry blinked. "That's...different than what I was expecting." Harry bit his knuckles for a second before responding to Draco's original question. "If I could find a cliff...maybe. Not that there aren't plenty of substitutes around here, anyway."  
  
Draco's mind flashed to an image of Harry letting go of his broom during the next Quidditch match, and he couldn't quite repress a small shiver. "Care to talk about it?"  
  
"What's there to talk about? Everyone either reveres me or hates me, just because of this damn scar." He traced it again. "They treat me like I'm some sort of object just because I did something that I can't even *remember*. Either they're filled with awe, or they're like you and hate me for something I never asked for or wanted."  
  
Draco reached out and placed a hand on Harry's shoulder. "For what it's worth, I don't *hate* you."  
  
"I'll remember that."  
  
Draco bit his lip, trying to think of what to do. Harry seemed so dull, lifeless. There had to be something.... Inspiration flashed, and, without knowing what he was starting, asked, "Who is it that you love, anyway?"  
  
Harry jumped, and pushed away from Draco's hand. "How...why...I...how did you *know*?"  
  
Draco had to force down the urge to giggle at Harry's incredulity. "When you were talking to yourself before, you mentioned it." He froze for a second. "It's not...me, is it?"  
  
Harry shook his head. "Sorry to burst your ego, but it's not you. Similar to you, but not you."  
  
Draco thought for a minute. He hated mysteries, and was intent on solving this one. "Similar to me...gender or personality?"  
  
Harry sighed. "Both." He buried his head in his hands.  
  
Draco began talking aloud, trying to work through this. "Male...so that leaves out half the population. Similar to my personality, so Ron's out.... But the only male who acts *anything* like me towards you is...." He trailed off, not wanting to complete the seemingly ridiculous sentence, but Harry's miserable nod forced him to. "Professor *Snape*? You're in love with *him*?!"  
  
"You don't need to advertise it to the whole castle," Harry hissed, but settled back down. "It's bad enough already." Without intending to, Harry began to cry. "Do you know what it's like to find someone who can look past the outside, look past the legends? To know that even though you love that person with everything in you, that the one you love sees past the scar, the legends, the name...and hates what he sees still?" The slow trail of tears running down Harry's face sped up, and Draco took Harry into his arms as the young man began to sob. "I love, him, Draco. I love Severus Snape...and he hates me. And that *hurts*."  
  
Draco did nothing but hold his new friend-for what else can you call someone after sharing an experience like this?-as he cried. He had never realized just how much pain there was hidden in Harry, a pain that was made clearer as Harry kept talking as he cried, sobbing out a lifetime of pain. Draco's heart suddenly constricted with guilt, realizing the role that he had played in Harry's torment.  
  
He stroked Harry's hair as the young man's sobs died down. 'I don't want to see you hurt, Harry...not anymore. Somehow, I'll try and fix the damage that I did.'  
  
And he knew just where to start. 


	2. 2

'Funny how you never know how much of a bastard you've been until it's hammered into you face,' Draco mused as he left Gryffindor behind. He had walked Harry back to his dorm, seeing as how the boy was too upset to manage it himself, and the reception he had received from Hermione.... 'Well, I suppose I deserve it-not like I've ever been kind to him before.' It had taken some fast talking to calm both her and Ron down and convince them that he had done nothing. Harry had even agreed with him, stating, "Draco's not so bad at all. He's...helped." Draco left then, both because of curfew and embarrassment.  
  
As he walked towards Slytherin, Draco paused as he reached an intersection. To the right led his dorms...to the left, the rooms of the Head of Slytherin House. 'Should I...?' Draco chewed on a hangnail, wavering, then turned decisively left. He could at least *start* his idea....  
  
Softly, Draco rapped on Snape's door. After a moment, it opened, and coal black eyes peered out. "Draco?"  
  
"Can I talk to you, Professor? I'm having a bit of a problem."  
  
Snape guided the young man into his office and sat behind his desk. He regarded Draco and asked, "What's the matter?"  
  
"Sir...is there ever a time where house loyalties can be forgotten?" Better to work up to what he truly wanted to say.  
  
Snape blinked. "It depends on the circumstances. Naturally, there are times when the good of the whole House comes first, but there are exceptions to every rule. Would you care to elaborate?"  
  
"Well...hypothetically speaking--"  
  
Snape rolled his eyes. "Do you *really* think that I'm going to buy the 'hypothetical' story?"  
  
"I suppose not." Draco sighed. "If you came across someone who wasn't from your House, but they were in obvious need of assistance, what would you do?"  
  
"Call Madame Pomfrey. Health is not something to be ignored, no matter the house."  
  
"This situation was more of an...emotional crisis."  
  
"Emotional."  
  
"In my judgement, borderline suicidal."  
  
Snape sat up straighter. "In that case, then helping was not only the right thing, but the best thing possible. May I ask who?"  
  
Draco acted as if he hadn't heard the question. "Do you think it's possible to love someone who hates you?"  
  
"Draco, where on earth are these questions coming from?"  
  
"Can you just tell me if you think it's possible?" There was a note of desperation in Draco's words that Snape couldn't ignore.  
  
"I...think it is ver much possible. A thin line separates hate and love, and the very qualities that people hate are also ones people love. And love has a mind of its own sometimes-just because someone appears to 'hate' you does not mean that you cannot love them." He paused for a second. "Are you in love, Draco?"  
  
Again, Draco didn't answer the question, but instead stood up. "Thank you for your help, sir," he said, smiling, and left the room before Snape could say another word.  
  
He watched Draco go. "'Help,' he says. How can I help the boy when he won't *tell* me anything?" Snape sighed and started preparing for bed.  
  
As he was putting out the torches, though, a thought struck him. 'Draco didn't *say* anything, but...did he tell me? Loving someone who hates you, House loyalties, emotional upset...what if he wasn't the one who helped, but was helped instead? Because he loves someone who hates him...but the only one who appears to hate him is....' Snape gasped in shock as the pieces came together. "Harry Potter. Draco is in love with Harry Potter."  
  
Snape shook his head as he tried to process this revelation. "Don't know why I'm so surprised...boy has a habit of finding things that are completely wrong for him...just like his father." Except that this situation was better than any Lucius could have put himself into. For one, Harry was not about to be luring *anyone* from the Light, and love was better than murder. Still....  
  
"I'm keeping my eye on *both* of you," he said to the dark room. 'I need to see what's going on here.'  
  
**********  
  
Luck was with Snape, as the next day saw Double Potions with the seventh year Slytherins and Gryffindors...which included Draco and Harry. Knowing how the two usually interacted, Snape decided to look for something that *wasn't* normal.  
  
Which was quite a lot. Draco, mindful of how fragile Harry was, contrary to popular opinion, was going out of his way to be nicer, while Harry, though being quieter than usual, was treating Draco with at the very least cordiality, at most, friendship. Hermione and Ron were also going out of their way not to bait the Slytherin group, and Draco was doing his best to keep his group from baiting the Gryffindors.  
  
All told, it was a very quiet and productive period. That in itself made Snape nervous.  
  
As the students left, his eyes followed Draco, who had gone up to Harry, laid a hand on his arm, and asked him something. When Harry responded, Draco smiled.  
  
Draco rarely smiled these days. For Harry to make him smile....  
  
That confirmed it for Snape. Not only did something happen between those two, but Draco was clearly in love with Harry. Whether Harry returned the feelings was another story. There was also the matter of not being sure that Harry was *right* for Draco, but time and observation could soothe that as well.  
  
The bottom line, though, was that Draco was acting happy for the first time in months. If it was Harry who was causing this, then what could he do?  
  
However, he was going to make sure he did his damnedest to make sure no one got hurt. 


	3. 3

Harry felt the closest to lighthearted he had in some time as he left the Potions room. If it weren't the miracle of gaining a friend from an enemy, but Snape had almost seemed...friendly. Or at least in a good enough mood where he didn't seem inclined to dock Gryffindor's points for every little thing.  
  
Only two things could make this day better-if Ron and Hermione would stop looking at Draco like he was going to attack, and if Snape were to approach and sweep him into a passionate embrace.  
  
Even with nearly seven years of anger and bitterness between Draco and his friends, Harry had a feeling the former was going to happen *long* before the second.  
  
In fact, reconciliation strides were already being made. Once Harry had explained exactly what had transpired the night before-and reassuring Ron that he did *not* seek Draco out over him-his two best friends were a little more predisposed to tentatively accepting Draco into their group. With the caveat that any betrayal would be deal with swiftly and harshly, of course.  
  
Actually, all things considered, Ron and 'Mione weren't taking everything half-badly.  
  
Harry wrenched himself out of his thoughts when Ron began poking him in the shoulder. "You in there, Har'?"  
  
"I...I think so."  
  
Ron smirked. "Well, considering that everyone else is out *there*," he pointed to the courtyard, "you shouldn't be in anywhere."  
  
Harry groaned as he followed his friend. "Ron, I think that's got to be your worst yet."  
  
"Yeah," agreed Hermione as she sat underneath a tree. "Even for a Weasley, that was bad."  
  
Ron puffed out his chest with mock-pride as he nearly collapsed into his girlfriend's lap. "I have to surpass my brothers at *something*." Hermione pushed him off of her, causing Ron to try and drag Harry into the mess.  
  
Draco couldn't hold back his giggles as he listened to the three interact. 'So...this is what friendship's like-what *they're* like. Why did I spend so long making them miserable?'  
  
Harry looked up at Draco's laughter, and a small smile appeared on his face. "Don't worry-I swear they won't bite."  
  
Even as Draco acknowledged Harry's words, his mind fixated on the smile. "I hadn't realized how long it's been since I've see you do that," he said softly.  
  
Harry blinked, confused. "Do what, exactly?"  
  
"Smile." Hermione had pulled away from her 'discussion' with Ron and reached out, tracing the curve of Harry's lips. "He's right, you know." She sighed. "How did we not notice?"  
  
Harry shrugged and pushed her hand away. There was only one person he wanted touching his lips. "You were falling in love, 'Mione. It's all right-I was glad to see you happy."  
  
"But our happiness shouldn't have made us ignore yours." Ron sighed and sprawled out on the grass. "That wasn't fair to you."  
  
Draco leaned against the tree and slid down it to the ground. "Does it matter, really? *I* think you should focus on helping *now* rather than kicking yourselves for past mistakes."  
  
"True, that. It'd be easier to help if you were in love with someone different, though," Ron said, smiling to show that he was at least partially joking. "I mean, if anger and hatred are what do it for you, why didn't you go for Draco here? He's not such a bad fellow."  
  
Both Harry and Draco blushed. Draco's blush deepened, though, when Harry murmured, "I did-two years ago."  
  
Before Ron could try to grill for details, Draco cleared his throat, drawing attention away from any crushes on Draco, both past and present. "And how long have you felt the way you do for Professor Snape?"  
  
Harry looked up to the sky, considering. "About a year now, I think. Or, at least I figured it out a year ago. After Voldemort."  
  
Hermione winced at the recollection. "Well, *something* must've triggered it...what was it?"  
  
Harry's smile softened. "He was...different, somehow. He acted like he cared that I was injured. Not because I was the Boy who Lived, the best hope for success, but because I was Harry Potter, a student who by rights should have never seen a battle like that so young. I don't know, but in that moment...the way I looked at him changed, and I realized what I'd been trying to deny to myself."  
  
"What was that?" But Harry shook his head, refusing to part with his most private thoughts.  
  
The four of them sat in serious silence for a few minutes, thinking and remembering. Finally Ron, who seemed to have a genetic predisposition towards dislike of seriousness, raised his eyebrow and, in a good impersonation of Austin Powers, drawled, "Yeah, that's good and all, but...does he make you horny, baby?"  
  
The others stared at Ron for a second, shocked. Draco was the first to crack, pulling the others with him into hysterical laughter.  
  
The disturbance drew attention from all over the green, most of whom were in shock over seeing three Gryffindors and a Slytherin-especially *that* combination-enjoying themselves.  
  
The only one who did not show evident shock was Snape, who was observing them quietly. Rather, he was evaluating the situation. 'Draco is sitting rather close to Harry, but that doesn't need to mean much. They all seem happy...that's a good thing.' He was yanked from his thoughts when Draco looked up and caught his eyes. Flushing for a second, he whispered something to the other three, whereupon they all eyed him...and blushed as well. Snape took that as his cue to walk away rather than find out what the joke was. 'An unexpected consequence, that-their influence on Draco's behavior.' Oh well-he knew were the boy lived if he needed to talk to him.  
  
*********  
  
For the second night in a row, Draco hovered outside Snape's office door. He had seen Snape watching them this afternoon, and he wondered what exactly it meant. Finally, he knocked, and the door opened. "Draco. Will this be becoming a nightly ritual?"  
  
"Are you annoyed, sir? Because I can leave...."  
  
"No, sit down, Draco." He waved the boy into a seat. "What is it you wish to discuss tonight?"  
  
"I wanted to talk to you about the person I found last night."  
  
"Ah, yes, the upset one?"  
  
"Yes." Draco paused. "He's a Gryffindor."  
  
Snape smirked. "I figured that out for myself today when I saw who you've befriended." He leaned back in his chair and steepled his fingers. "As you said 'he,' I can only assume you talked to Mr. Weasley or Mr. Potter. Mr. Weasley would be my guess."  
  
"Why would he be your guess?"  
  
Snape snorted, knowing he was deliberately trying to draw a reaction out of Draco. "Because what could make the legendary Harry Potter unhappy?"  
  
Draco frowned. "Being seen as just a legend and nothing more, sir."  
  
Blinking, Snape considered Draco's words. Maybe there was more to the situation than met the eye. "How do you know this?"  
  
"Harry told me. Last night."  
  
"And is this why you were asking me about House loyalty?" Draco nodded. "So...where does the question about loving someone who hates you fit in?"  
  
Draco flushed bright red. "With all respect, sir, that is none of your concern." 'Dammit, this is *not* going right!'  
  
"But there *is* a real situation like that?"  
  
Draco sighed. "Yes." Then, brightening, "If someone loved someone else, and that love was true, but it was seen as inappropriate for any number of reasons, what would you say about that love?"  
  
Snape repressed a smile. "In my humble opinion, it is not anyone's place to determine what is 'appropriate' and 'inappropriate' in romantic affairs except for the two people involved."  
  
Draco grinned. "I was hoping you'd say that, sir." He stood suddenly. "I should go to bed now. Good night!" Before Snape could say another word, Draco was out the door.  
  
Snape stared at his paperwork for some time after Draco left, lost in thought. 'It seems this is no mere crush, Mr. Malfoy. What will you do now?' With a shake of his head, Snape cleared away all thoughts and went back to work. 


	4. 4

The next few weeks passed in relative peace. Draco's new comradeship with Harry and his friends signaled a virtual end to the messier of the House rivalries, though there were still definite tensions. Overall, though, the faculty agreed that this new development was a most pleasing one.  
  
Except for Severus Snape. He had spent his time in observation, and had so far come to no concrete conclusions. Harry certainly didn't act like he had more than friendly feelings for Draco...but then again, Draco gave no outward signs that he was enamoured with Harry. Deciding that he'd never get anywhere that way, he instead watched Harry, trying to just what it was that was attracting Draco so much.  
  
Besides the obvious, anyway. Even Snape had to admit that Harry had grown into a very attractive young man, with his ebony hair and eyes that reminded him of an untouched forest in their green. He could see the two boys making a very attractive pair, Harry's darker features contrasting with the paleness of Draco. Much different than what Harry would look like with him....  
  
Snape killed that train of thought and moved on. He supposed that Draco admired things like Harry's braveness, his kindness. The way that Harry's eyes would shine with emotion, or how Harry's normal small smile would soften when gazing into nothingness. He could almost imagine how those eyes would look in the heights off passion, that mouth curving with moans as--  
  
Blinking, Snape tried to clear his mind. Had he been *fantasizing* about Harry *Potter*? He was trying to help *Draco*, not fall in love himself!  
  
With a groan, Snape realized what exactly had happened. He had looked so hard to see what was lovable in and about Harry that he had gone and fallen himself. Snape muttered a curse under his breath. To find someone so compelling and know that doing anything would break the heart of a student he cared about so much....  
  
A rap on the door interrupted his self-criticizing. Of course. He had almost forgot about Draco-though why he would when the boy had been showing up like clockwork for the past three weeks, he had no idea. "Enter."  
  
Draco came in and sat in his customary seat. Before he could say anything, Snape stated, "It would be much easier for me to comprehend why you come in here and ask questions about love if you would tell me who is in love with who."  
  
Draco's eyes narrowed for a second, gathering himself. "I cannot do that, sir."  
  
"May I ask *why*?" His life would be much simpler if he could at least get Draco to admit that he was one of the parties in this romantic game.   
  
"Why? Because disclosing that information could harm one of the parties...possibly both. And I have no wish to do that."  
  
"Very well." Snape stood and started to pace. "I do not know what you've been trying to accomplish in talking to me all this time, but it is possible that you're looking for advice. Tell whoever it is that you're trying to consul to just go up to the person they love and *tell* them."  
  
Draco blinked, shocked. "Just tell them...I don't think that would work. Actually, I think that would be very bad."  
  
"Explain, please, how directness and honesty could be 'bad'."  
  
Draco stood and walked to stand in front of Snape. "Let me ask you something-if someone were to walk up to you, and say, 'Severus Snape, I love you. I've loved you for quite some time, and I don't want to imagine my life without you,' what would you do?"  
  
Snape frowned for a second, caught off-guard. "If it were me...I'd be surprised, but reject them. I have no need for love in my life." 'You're lying, Severus...I just have poor luck in choosing who I love.' He covered his lie with a sneer.  
  
Draco shrugged. "You see my point them. Imagine you were the person who just got rejected. It would be...crushing, to say the least. No one desires to go through that." Draco looked up and met Snape's eyes, smiling sadly. "And...I think I've learned all I need to. Good night, sir." He turned to leave.  
  
"Wait." Draco paused at the door. "I hope you know, Draco, if you ever desire to tell me something...I'm here."  
  
"I know that, sir." Draco left the room, carefully closing the door behind him. Staring at the wood, he murmured, "But I'm not the one with something to tell you...and I don't know if telling you is a good idea anymore."  
  
**********  
  
Harry sat in the Gryffindor common room, staring into the fireplace. He was lost in thought, daydreaming about things he wanted but never thought he could have. Like love.... Harry sighed, then jumped when he heard knocking outside the room. Cautiously, he went to the door and crept towards the exit, the knocking getting louder. As he exited, he saw Draco standing in the corridor, biting his lip and looking concerned. "Draco?"  
  
Draco looked up at Harry's voice. "I need to talk to you...I think it's important." He took a deep breath. "I spoke to him again."  
  
"With who?"  
  
"Snape. I've been talking to him lately...trying to judge what he thought about relationships in general...I think he got annoyed by all my questions, though."  
  
Harry sank to the floor in shock. "You...told him...."  
  
"No! Nothing like that." Draco took a seat next to Harry. "I used no names...but I think he got the point." He laughed. "Or *a* point. He gave me some advice tonight-to just tell the person that you love them. He thinks it's best."  
  
"Tell him? Is that what you're telling me?"  
  
"I'm afraid not." Draco took a deep breath, steeling himself. "I was...shocked by his directness, so I questioned him by turning his advice on himself. You know, what would his reaction be if someone told him they loved him. I really *was* trying to help. Harry!"  
  
"If the next words out of your mouth are 'Severus is in love with me,' I *will* hurt you."  
  
Draco let out a barking laugh. "I wish it were that simple. No, he told me that he'd refuse any advance...because he has no use for love."  
  
Harry's mouth opened and shut a few times. "No...use...?"  
  
"I'm *sorry*, Harry! Really I am! I just...wanted to help...wanted to try and make up for how I've treated you all of these years...I didn't want to find out this."  
  
Harry slowly stood. "I'm...going to bed now, Draco. You do the same. I'll see you in the morning." He looked at the portrait. "Flying fish," he spoke to it, and it slid aside.  
  
"Are you mad at me, Harry?"  
  
Harry turned around, and Draco wished he hadn't-the smile that they had all worked on getting was gone, the eyes filled with sadness. "I'm not mad at you, Draco. You only wanted to help." He left before anything more could be said.  
  
Only when he was sure he was alone did Harry allow himself the luxury of a tear. "I should've known," he whispered miserably. He wiped away a few more tears before crawling into bed and trying not to dream.  
  
**********  
  
Ron cast a worried look at Hermione. "I don't know what to do anymore-he's been like this for *days*!" Ron's eyes strayed to Harry, who was leaning against a tree staring at the sky. "He hasn't been eating, I don't think he's sleeping well...and have you seen his eyes lately?"  
  
Hermione nodded. "Empty. They didn't even look that bad after...." She swallowed, years of ingrained fear not allowing her to say the name. "There has to be *something* we can do."  
  
"But what?" Draco separated himself from the wall that had apparently doing double duty of holding both him and the castle up. "Everything we've tried doesn't help."  
  
Hermione bit her lip in thought. "Are you *sure* that Snape meant what he said? Maybe he lied-you know, to save face in front of a student."  
  
Ron snorted. "Have you *ever* known that git to lie about anything? Honestly, I'd be more likely to believe that he's a heartless bastard than anything else." Ron looked at Harry again, and his anger melted away some. "I just wish that Harry could've seen that. Snape's not worth Harry's pain."  
  
Sighing, Hermione nodded. "I know, but...Harry doesn't respond to *anything* anymore. I just wish...." Biting back a sob, she leaned into her boyfriend's embrace.  
  
Draco walked over to Harry. "Harry? It's almost dinnertime...come in, please."  
  
"I can't do it." Harry's voice was flat, lifeless. "I can't go in there and see him sitting up there. It hurts too much."  
  
Draco put a tentative arm around his friend's shoulder. "Don't let him ruin your life," he whispered. "He may not love you, might not be able to love at all, but there are still people who care about you, and we don't like seeing you neglect yourself." He gestured to Ron and Hermione, who were watching the pair with worried eyes. "Please. For us."  
  
Harry sighed and shook his head, but allowed himself to be steered into the dining hall. Draco was right-they all were. He had to...move on.  
  
But why did it have to be so damn *hard*?  
  
**********  
  
Snape sighed in annoyance as he watched Harry flinch out of the corner of his eye. Normally, this wouldn't bother him, but the boy had been doing it all class. "Potter!"  
  
Harry jumped and bit his lip, looking down at the desk. "Yes, sir?"  
  
"Why are you so jumpy, pray tell? You're starting at shadows, and it is very wearing on my nerves."  
  
"I'm sorry, sir." Harry's eyes stayed glued to his desk.  
  
"Oh, quit apologizing. I don't know what's worse-the nervousness or the constant apologizing! You're a seventeen year-old boy--*act* like it and *not* like a wounded puppy!"  
  
Harry seemed to visibly shrink into himself. Rather than say anything else, he shook his head miserably. Ron reddened, and Hermione had to grab onto him to keep him from attacking.  
  
Draco crossed the room and moved to stand between Harry and Snape. "Sir, Harry's been having a rough time lately."  
  
Snape raised an eyebrow. "Sticking up for a Gryffindor, Mr. Malfoy?"  
  
"In this case, yes. In my opinion, you're being too harsh."  
  
Snape's mood, already frayed from having been watching a flagging Harry of late, did not improve with this. "Potter, Malfoy, stay here. The rest of you-go."  
  
Shooting sidelong glances at each other, the class obeyed. Ron and Hermione paused long enough to place a hand on Harry's shoulder in support before leaving, closing the door behind them.  
  
Snape looked at the two students in front of him and steeled himself for what he was about to say. "I've been watching both of you lately, and coupled with some intriguing chats I've had with Draco of late, I think I've figured out what's going on."   
  
Harry sank back on his stool, closing his eyes tightly. 'Please...,' he thought, not sure what he was hoping for.  
  
Snape continued. "It is very obvious to be what is going on here-I see the signs. Draco, I know."  
  
"Know?" Draco tried to play innocent.  
  
"Yes, I know." 'Now for the hardest part....' "I don't know what you see in Potter-such a clumsy, fragile, unkempt, plain thing-but it is obvious to me that you...care for him." Rolled his eyes. "And though he would be my *last* choice for a mate, would just *tell* Mr. Potter that you love him and save us all a lot of grief?"  
  
Both boys sat in shock, trying to digest what they had just heard. Tears began to fall from Harry's eyes just as Draco started to talk. "Sir, I don't know what I said, but you've got it wrong! I--"   
  
His words were interrupted by Harry suddenly standing, knocking back his stool in the process. "He doesn't get it," he murmured. "Here I thought I was being so *obvious*...and to hear that...." He wiped at his face. "I have to get out of here!" Harry bolted for the door.  
  
"Harry, wait!" The door slammed shut behind him, and Draco whirled on Snape. "How could you?" he hissed.  
  
Snape blinked. This had gone against everything he had planned on. "How could I? Well, you were never going to tell him, and...why did he react like that?"  
  
"Because I don't *love* Harry Potter, nor does he love me! Do you want to know who he loves?" Draco stormed up to Snape and poked him in the chest, sending him staggering back a couple steps with the force. "You! He loves *you* Professor Severus Snape! He loves you, and I wanted to help him, and you just managed to break his *heart*! I hope you're happy with yourself, *sir*." Draco stormed towards the door. "Ron was right-you're not worth his pain. And if you'll excuse me, I've got a friend to comfort."  
  
For the second time that afternoon the door slammed shut.  
  
Snape staggered back into his chair, eyes wide in shock. 'He...loves me? Harry Potter loves me?' For a moment, the joy was overwhelming. Then, remembering what he had just said to Harry,  
  
"Dear Lord, what have I done?" He took off after Harry. 


	5. 5

Harry ran.  
  
He didn't pay any attention to who he was passing, where he was going. He was just following one basic instinct-get out. Get away from the source of hurt and pain. Get away from the shreds of his broken heart.  
  
He plowed through obstacles, be they something like doors or furniture, or the-considerably more inconvenient-people.  
  
Especially when said people were doing their best to halt his headlong rush away from Hogwarts.  
  
Finally, Ron's superior size and strength won out, and, between him and Hermione, managed to wrestle Harry to the ground just inside the forest. Ron grasped Harry's shoulders and shook. "Harry! Talk to me-what happened?"  
  
Hermione observed with an oddly detached air. Finally, when it was clear that they were going to get no answers from Harry, she spoke. "You told him, didn't you?"  
  
Harry cringed and shook his head. "I...I didn't...I couldn't, not after...." He lapsed into silence, tears still running down his face."  
  
Draco, who had finally caught up with his friend, sank to his knees beside the other two boys. "Either way, he knows. I had to tell him after you ran out of there."  
  
"What happened?" Ron's eyes narrowed, and the aura of anger was almost tangible.  
  
Draco sighed. "Snape confronted the two of us with some...assumptions." He looked at Harry, trying to meet his eyes. "I swear to you, if I knew what he was going to think, I'd have *never*--I mean...." Draco's eyes lowered. "I never meant it to turn out this way."  
  
Harry blinked, clearing his eyes, and laid a hand on Draco's shoulder. "I don't blame you," he said softly.  
  
"Ummm...we still don't know what happened." Hermione's expression had shifted to the one she usually wore when on the trail of some interesting research.  
  
Draco opened his mouth, but Harry beat him to the words. "In a nutshell-Snape gave his blessing to Draco and I. *After* giving his opinion on how unlovable I am-for him, anyway." He sighed, outwardly calm, though his eyes clearly showed his inner turmoil. "Don't know what I expected anything else," he added. "I mean, he's right."  
  
"*Never* say that!" shouted Ron, taking his friend into a brief but fierce hug. "You *are* lovable."  
  
Draco nodded. "He's just stupid...doesn't know what he's passing up, the bloody git."  
  
Harry shook his head slowly. Somewhere along the line, he had stopped thinking and just started reacting. All he knew was that he was alone and hurting, and heartbroken. So he did the first thing that came into his mind.  
  
He kissed Draco.  
  
And Draco, either from surprise or desire-it was hard to tell-kissed him back.  
  
**********  
  
Snape realized that he didn't have to work too hard to find Harry-all he had to do was follow the trail of mayhem.  
  
However, due to Harry's head start and speed, it took him a few minutes to catch up. By that time, harry was surrounded by his friends, and Snape dropped back to observe the small group. His heart broke at the sight of tears on Harry's face. 'If...if I could take back the words, if he knew....' Finally, Harry seemed to calm down, and Snape made up his mind to approach him, even if it *did* mean risking life and limb with the young man's friends.  
  
Resolution made, Snape closed his eyes for a minute, steeling him to approach this in a calm and rational manner. With a deep breath, he opened his eyes and saw something that chased all thoughts of 'calm' and 'rational' very far away.  
  
Harry.  
  
Draco.  
  
*Kissing*.  
  
Snape acted on instinct, emotion propelling him forward, pulling Draco off of Harry. Ignoring the stunned-and angry-looks he was getting, Snape regarded Draco and began shouting. "What on *earth* were you thinking, Malfoy! You said you don't love him! Why were you kissing *my* Harry?"  
  
Draco's eyes flashed. "Since where is he *yours*? Last time I checked, you thought he was plain and clumsy, someone whom you didn't want!"  
  
"But you don't love him!"  
  
Draco practically snarled. Ron moved from where he was, with Hermione, flanking Harry, to stand next to Draco, supporting him. "Neither do you. And in my opinion, Draco is *much* better for Harry. At least he *cares*."  
  
"I-"   
  
"No answer to that?" Draco spat.   
  
Snape didn't have one. At least, not a verbal answer. Instead, he turned to Harry, gently pushed Hermione aside, and kissed him.  
  
Harry swore that the world had stopped in that moment, that he had died, and this was Heaven, having the man who he knew cared nothing for him kissing him with such passion. He was either dead or dreaming. Harry's arms wrapped around the other man's neck, determined to savor every moment of this dream.  
  
Snape felt Harry responding, and moaned into his mouth, triggering an answering moan. Tongues dueled, intertwining and caressing, and if it weren't for the need of air, Snape might've never stopped kissing Harry. Eventually, though, he drew back and gazed into glazed green eyes. "I *do* love you," he said, gently, yet with conviction. "I just thought that you and Draco cared about each other."  
  
"Then why did you say those things?" It was Hermione's voice that made Harry realize that he was, in fact, *not* dreaming, and he looked down, away from the man that he loved. The memory of pain came rushing back, and he began to cry again.  
  
Snape softly brushed away the tears, and though he addressed his words to Harry, he spoke so the others could hear him. "I said what I did because I thought you were beyond my reach, and that it'd be better to push you away from myself with words, if I couldn't have you. I just wish I knew that I breaking your heart as well as mine."  
  
"How do I believe you?" Harry whispered sadly. "How do I know that this isn't sore cruel joke?"  
  
Snape tilted up Harry's chin, forcing him to meet his eyes. "Harry, I can't make you believe me. All I can ask is that you try."  
  
"I-I need time," Harry gasped out, pulling away from Snape's embrace. "I'm hurting, and I need...time." Grabbing Ron's arm, he turned and fled, Draco right behind the two.  
  
Hermione turned to follow, then paused and regarded her professor. Snape looked right back. Breaking the silence, he said, "Tell, me, Ms. Granger...what do you think will happen next?"  
  
"Think, or hope?"  
  
"Both."  
  
Hermione chewed on a hangnail, trying to figure out how to phrase her words. "I think Harry needs, time, like he said. You hurt him terribly, and he needs to decide whether you're worth the pain you're so capable of doling out to him. I can't predict what he'll do. However," Hermione's gaze turned to steel, "I *hope* that he'll run from you as fast as possible. You don't deserve him. If, however, if he *does* decide that he wants you, I hope you will get down on your knees and thank every deity ever imagined for the gift he'd be giving you."  
  
"Ms. Granger, I'd give my soul itself to correct my errors."  
  
"It might be too late for that." Turning on her heel, Hermione followed her friends, leaving Snape alone with his thoughts.  
  
**********  
  
Graduation night.  
  
Five weeks had passed since the scene under the trees, and nothing was even close to being resolved.  
  
Snape watched as the soon-to-be graduates filed into the Great Hall, mind and eyes fixed on one certain young man who had managed to ensnare his heart.  
  
The weeks had been...well, 'unpleasant,' didn't describe it quite right. 'Cool' or 'formal' might have been better. In the classroom, he had been faced with a chilly Draco, an angry Ron, and a protective Hermione. Harry, though....  
  
Harry didn't react. He did his work, and should Snape speak to him, he responded with the minimum amount of conversation and no eye contact.  
  
It was driving Snape insane.  
  
However, he *did* promise Harry time. However, he had hoped for a resolution sometime *before* Harry was scheduled to leave his life.  
  
The ceremony passed by in a blur, and before he knew it, he was being drawn back to reality by loud applause. Without Snape's knowing, the seventh-years had graduated.  
  
Harry was lost to him.  
  
As soon as was politely possible, Snape withdrew from the following festivities and retreated to his private quarters, determined to give himself one night. One night to wallow in sadness, to mourn what could've been if he hadn't been such an arse. Not bother to lock the door behind him, Snape drifted to a chair in front of the fire and stared into the flames, feeling tears stinging his eyes.  
  
Before he could start crying, though, a knock at the door froze him. "Figures, the one night I truly desire to be left alone," he muttered. Knowing that whoever it was probably was stubborn to boot, he called out, "Come in." 'Better to get this over with now.' He turned to regard his visitor, and gasped when his eyes locked onto Harry's form.  
  
Harry twisted his dress robes around his fingers and looked at the floor. "Did I come at a bad time?" he asked timidly.  
  
"No, of course not!" Snape stood and guided Harry to another seat by the fire. "I figured you'd be celebrating with your friends."  
  
"It's hard to believe I've graduated. I thought I'd never see this day."  
  
Snape didn't have to ask what Harry meant. "Can I do something for you?" he asked, trying to keep the conversation off subjects best forgotten.  
  
"I...I think we need to finish a conversation. I'm sorry I haven't talked to you before this. I wanted to, but...."  
  
"But?" Snape was curious.  
  
"But I wanted also to say this tonight, to say what I need to without risk of nasty repercussions."  
  
Snape's heart sank slightly. "Please," he said, gesturing for harry to say his piece.  
  
"You hurt me terribly, and I'm sure you know that. I never realized how much rejection could hurt, even it was apologized for. I tried to forget you, but...." Harry's voice trailed off into a whisper. "I couldn't. I still love you, even if it means my ruin."  
  
Snape's jaw fell open. This was more than he had been hoping for, and his heart resumed its normal place in his chest. "I love you," he said, sincerely, simply. "If I had known what I was doing to you, I'd have never said anything. If I had known how you felt about me, I'd have acted differently."  
  
Harry nodded. "I know. That's the only reason I'm here. When you," he blushed, "kissed me, I could feel it. I love you and want to be with you. I hope you want the same."  
  
Snape moved to kneel next to Harry's chair and too the young man's hands in his own. "I don't want anything else." Slowly, giving Harry time to change his mind, he leaned in to kiss his love.  
  
Their second kiss eclipsed their first, as this one was filled with pure love. Harry's hands threaded themselves in Snape's hair, while Snape's arms wrapped around his love. Slowly, Harry slid out of the chair until the two were on the floor together, Harry straddling Snape's lap.  
  
Harry broke the kiss to breathe, leaning his forehead against Snape's. Realizing something, he began to giggle.  
  
"Harry?"  
  
"I just realized-I don't know what to call you! I can't call you Snape, and you're not my professor anymore...."  
  
Snape laughed, a sound filled with love and joy. "Call me Severus." He leaned in and kissed Harry again, the next of a night filled with kisses, touches, caresses...and love.  
  
**********  
  
Hermione watched Harry leave the party, and she knew where he was going. "I just hope that he's making the right choice," she said to no one in particular.  
  
Ron came up behind her and leaned his chin on her hair. "Harry's strong. If he wants this to work, he'll make it work. That won't stop me from killing the bastard if he hurts Harry again, though."  
  
Draco stood in the shadows near his friends and reflected on the past months. All of this began from one fateful night where he discovered the humanity of The Boy Who Lived. There had been times when he had wished the whole thing had never happened, but now....  
  
Draco smiled as arms pulled him close, snuggling into the loving embrace. Now he was glad of everything. He had found real friends, helped one of those friends achieve his heart, and found love himself. All because of three people whose lives he used to make miserable as often as possible.  
  
"Draco? What are you thinking?"  
  
Draco looked up from his place in the secure embrace at the person talking to him. "Just thinking of the definition of 'dichotomy,' he replied. "Of how this situation seemed so farfetched at one point."  
  
"You're right. But it's all so wonderful now. Not a thing should be changed." Lips met his own, and Draco was hard pressed to disagree.  
  
Everything *had* worked out, after all, for the good. What more needed to be said?  
  
**********  
  
The End 


End file.
